February 23, 2014

3 promises for her

Seeing as how I'm nearing 35 weeks of pregnancy (only 2 weeks until I'm considered full-term!), I thought it'd be good to take the time to actually write down some important things that I hope for in motherhood, so I can remember and actualize them.

These are just three really practical things I desperately want for my daughter, and am making a commitment to strive for:

1. I promise to pray for her.

This has already become a consistent habit in my life, but I do want to make sure I pray for many things about and for her… not just her safety and health (though those are so important too). I want to ask God for things for her that won't just make me, her mother, happy.

I want to remember to pray for a deep spiritual walk with the Lord and that she'd follow Him wholeheartedly, not matter how far away she may have to live from Momma and Daddy one day.

I want my prayers to be that she'd find that right calling in her life, in all aspects-- whether she's to be married at all (just in case I'm already praying for a great husband), what her vocation will look like, whether or not she'll go to college.

All of those things matter, and in praying for her I want to let it be time where I give my expectations and wishes to the Lord and pray that He will be the one who leads her.

Totally unrelated to this post, but… come on. How are baby girls this much fun??

2. I promise to watch the negative self talk.

We all do it, and we all do it a lot. But it's one of the most harmful things a child can be exposed to. Naemi will learn her self worth, her ideas of beauty, and her self confidence from me. Just from watching me.

Forget all the good and true things I'll tell her-- she'll follow in my example, and if my habit is to criticize myself in front of her ("I'm so fat."  "I'm just no good at this."  "I wish I was prettier."  "I'll get in a bathing suit when I lose 20 pounds."), how will she ever know how beautiful and wonderful and perfect she is?

It saddens me that I didn't grow up with a better body image. I went on my first diet before the age of 10.

But this is where the cycle will stop.

I've already begun changing the way I self talk. Pregnancy has a way of making you incredibly body-aware if you weren't already before. I've started to change my sentences into "I feel"statements, and it's actually helped a lot. Instead of making statements about who I am or how I look, my words have become ones of feelings, not of (what I perceive is) truth.

I have to brag on our birthing method, Hypnobabies (more on that topic later), for a second. One of the best parts about the birthing classes we took was that I was required to listen to affirmations every day-- positive statements about pregnancy, birthing, and my pregnant body.

The best affirmation though, which I found myself repeating multiple times a day, was "I love my pregnant body."

Just saying that to myself every time I'd have a moment of insecurity or I'd experience frustration over my poor swollen feet really helped change my mind about things.

I'm committed to doing everything I can to provide an environment where Naemi will grow up knowing how beautiful she is and knowing that her worth does not lie in her image. She deserves to be taught truth.

After I'd had a really hard week (and a LOT of rude comments about my pregnant size), Dave surprised me with gifts around the house, flowers, and a date night out.

3. I promise to love her daddy forever.

Not much needs to be said about this one. We all know how high the divorce rate is, even among Christians, and we also know how destructive bad marriages (not just divorce) can be to children.

So, in promising to provide a strong parental front and example of marriage for Naemi, I promise to

Let her see Momma and Daddy kiss and cuddle and say "I love you" often.

Be an example of a wife who is happy to serve her spouse in whatever ways he needs-- whether it be food, a listening ear, help with the yard work, nightly back rubs, or picking up special treats for Daddy at the store.

Treat her daddy with respect and kindness, especially in conflict. That means no name calling, demeaning each other, or otherwise mean behavior. Naemi deserves to see that moms and dads can disagree and hurt each other, and work through it with love, humility, and respect.

I turned 25 last week. Dave made "yum yum cake" for me and lit all 25 candles for me to blow out… he said he wanted the cake to look like it was on fire.

Three promises, and three very high callings. It will only be by God's grace that any of these can be accomplished, but I am looking forward to the challenge.

1 comment:

  1. I love you so much... you make me want to be a better person. I'm trying to hold back the tears reading this post, but it's hard. You are going to be such an incredible mother and I hate more than anything I am missing this, but I promise to make up for it when we are closer in distance.